June 8, 2024

Proverbs 18.13 (NIV)
He who answers before listening – that is his folly and his shame.

Listen twice as much as you speak.*

In his Proverbs, Solomon has provided us with some words to live by. The words of this one could easily have been penned by a secular writer. There are lots of wise sayings out there that can help us lead better lives.

Listening before we answer can save us from stupidity and shame – and rudeness. According to Emily Post, “Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter which fork you use.” Are good manners a spiritual discipline? Perhaps they are, in light of Philippians 2.3, which tells us that in humility we should consider others better than ourselves. Doesn’t that sound mannerly? Perhaps we would be better listeners if we weren’t so busy phrasing our clever responses before the other person has finished speaking.

 

But beyond bad manners, failure to listen can lead to poor judgment, bad decisions, and un-Christian behavior. How can we expect our choices to be well-informed if we have jumped to conclusions? James tells us in Chapter 1, verse 19, that we should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger.  Did you notice the progression of actions there? Listen, speak, act. As Matthew Henry wrote, “It is folly for a man to pass sentence upon a matter which he has not patience to make a strict enquiry into.”*

Listen. Get your facts straight. Ask God to give you discernment. Listen some more. Then you may or may not have something to say.

I believe we could change the world if we would listen instead of planning a response.*